memories about my grandmother . a poem from a chance thought

the smell floats in my mind

the taste in my heart

the love i miss now, in my soul.

i look forward to those memories

that always enticed me

and always will...

something's are beyond man

and this is one of them

for i will never feel any of it ..ever again

i can only cherish it

close to my heart

waiting for incredible fulfillment.

doubt...fear...survival??!?!?!?

Is it natural to always doubt ??...to have misgivings about everything and everyone??. why do we always doubt everything and everyone. why does even our most fail-proof plans suffer misgivings. Even if we don't doubt its success ,somebody else will. it is as inevitable as the end of the sun. To doubt is normal for a living being. The Jews believe that at one point in everyone's life they will question the authenticity of their God. In the book of the ford of the jabbok ,there is a passage explaining that samael the angel comes to every dying man's dream and incites him to deny god, to test their faith. They might have included this in the book because they understood that to doubt is an involuntary action.

To have misgivings about something is considered natural. To raise a question about it is considered intelligent. And to find a flaw in it is considered a ground breaking discovery. why??

It might be because we all fear. Doubt arises from fear and fear is one of man's most primal emotions. it is an all overcoming feeling which has led to all the wars and all the battles history has witnessed and is yet to witness.

We doubt the success of our plans,the decisions in our life we made and those we made for others ,our friends , the faithfulness of our partners and always at least once in our life the guarantees of our religion, the presence of God and infinite other things. Even though we know that we can't go wrong,we find ourselves contemplating how all we can go wrong ;trying to find ways to overcome it,to prevent it. Trust is a word that is almost never constant. We cannot trust anyone enough.
A person cannot help but trust some people and some things. But when we see those things that we trusted fail once,twice ,thrice and many more times, the same trust we displayed and which we believed, immovable and impenetrable,falter.

Fear of a thing comes from doubt . A person who fears spiders and cockroaches or anything else does not get scared because the animal or the thing scares them. They fear it because they believe that that thing can hurt them. They doubt the fact that a normal spider bite cant kill them and that cockroaches cannot hurt them. They doubt the veracity of those statements and they hold the incidents when they get really hurt by the bite of a poisonous spider as a proof that all spider bites are dangerous.

Fear stems from man's most ancient emotion. The need for survival. we all fight,work,,study,jostle for space and food because we want to survive in this world . To live. Even if we face the worst of hardships we strive on because we want to survive. Man rose to the rank of the dominant species of earth because we took steps to rid ourselves of all our hunters, or at least to tame them and to rope off their surroundings. We all fear what we don't know. an unknown phenomena strikes fear because we don't understand it. When it is explained rationally it ceases to create chaos. when it is ascertained that there is no danger from it , that survival is not at stake , only then is the fear subdued.

so what's the remedy for doubt?? nothing. It all comes down to us. To decide for ourselves whether we trust a thing or not. And even if we go wrong somewhere,that too is normal. Because we ourselves are also not fool-proof. We decide because we believe. And we believe because we all share the most common trait. The desire to survive and to pursue happiness.

memories

i see her face

the puckered skin,

the frail body,

all reminding me of who she was

what she was to me

she would be

to all of you,

in this short life of ours

i cry for her,

for her presence in my life

and to know what

she thinks of me now

but my cries remain unheard

and the memories live in me.

The only bridge between

us and them

what makes a human being??

What does being a human being mean???? Standing up for what's right no matter what the consequences are or just being a good person or living the high life; life of fun.thrill and merry-making????. Whatever the answer is, at the end of the day all that matters will be how much love you gave to the world. How many people remember you for what you did and not for what you were.whether you were a Muslim or a Hindu or a Christian or an atheist or something else, you should be remebered for what you did to make the world a better place for others . Others who follow you in this life,in this century and in this millenium. Being a human being, and holding the power to change lifes makes this our responsibility,makes this our purpose in life.

According to the dictionary a humane person is a person who is comapassionate ,merciful and kind. But a humane person is also a person who "feels" for others . Who can understand what it is to be in that situation. who can symphathise with the person and who makes an effort to help them.To comfort them even if their efforts are futile.Doing just that simple thing will score you a better grade in God's top loved people's ranking than doing other difficult things. Caring for others makes the effort ,whether small or big ,something worthwhile doing. Let people remember you for the good deeds you did and the kind gestures you showed rather than the amount of good fortune you accumalated.Because the memory of your kindness will outlive all memory of your achievements or your prosperity . As they alone will bring a warmth at all times in your life,they are the most precious of memories. The memory of having made another fellow human being's life wonderful by YOUR presence .

Being humane doesnt mean you have to try to do things that are beyond your capabilities. Just the simple thing that you did to make the life of another person better can be the best thing you can do .Immeasurably better than giving them a pot of gold.It will help them believe in the better side of life which they need to remember when faced with trials and tribulations in their life.Every single good deed that we do in our life is like a block of stone that forms the fortres that will protect us in the time of our hardships.A fortress built out of love and kindness that will stand the worst of evil. That tells us how much useful our life was . How much of meaning was there in it.Whether we lived a good life or a life of goodness. And at the end of the road all that matters is that.

"pushing" yourself

Ever wondered what will happen if u go beyond your usual limits. what would happen if u did 15 extra more pushups or ran that extra, never before attempted, 1 more mile. Would u get there? would u fall in the process? or would u find yourself at a new milestone in your life, both physically and mentally. Those who have taken up the challenge have found the unbounded reserve of energy in the human spirit. Inexhaustible, unbreakable. A spark from the very core of life.

Some might not believe that there exists such a thing amongst us all. But its there in every one of us. The spirit of life. It’s amazing when u can feel the strain u take in your mind to get that far and any further effort on it seems like next to impossible. Like stretching an already extended rubber band. imagine that u are running and you suddenly get the idea to quicken your pace and to put on an extra burst of speed before the finish line, which results in u panting for breath even before your normal mark. At that moment u have two choices .to believe that we are creations of god and there is always a spark of divinity in anything that was created and that we have an hidden strengths within us all or u can just give up and pant and whine and complain and lie down on the ground doubting yourself and your capability. but when u force yourself to "push "further and more u can reach your goal ,whatever it may be, amidst encore. The world has always applauded the exertions and strivings of many men and women before us for it symbolizes the undying spirit that lives in us, which we all like to believe and we all doubt, When you have to take a conscious effort to do something out of the ordinary. When u do ordinary things like walking talking running jumping u really don’t feel the effort .and even if u felt the effort it cannot be compared to the feeling of having broken a limit on your body. When u "push" yourself like continuing to run when faced with a impending sense of urgency or danger to someone or something or even to our self the human mind accesses the hidden energy with in itself. No matter what your physical build is whether u are fat or lean, short or tall, fear for our self or for those who we care about will definitely spur you on, like never before. Cartoons and movies depict this untapped reserve of spirit in many numerous and clumsy ways. it doesn’t always have to be impending danger or love for something that makes you "push " yourself. the will to achieve the goal, one has strived for can also be the motivator in the reaction. If u set yourself to a particular goal and meet that goal finally to see it in all its glory ,after jumping over the hurdles of life ,that simple effort may be seen as the reward for a person's perseverance and untiring mental capacity.

"pushing" yourself forward can be something just mental also ,not just physical. When we find it in our self the will to stand for something good then that simple measure epitomizes the human spirit, the choice and the ability to do right and wrong. And in that way we will have reached another milestone in our life. one worth remembering. And that’s what great leader’s did. They showed us that mental spirit can be as powerful as physical spirit. and that is what we all should believe in. The undying spirit of the human mind and heart. Its strength cannot be depleted; it can only be clouded and hidden in shrouds of doubt .